Recently I had the goal of becoming the worlds’ fastest speedwriter; and I did in fact accomplish this goal and write the fastest words ever written. Indeed, these sentenced words were so fast they couldn’t be read.
In fact, not long after they were written they were found in a ditch, dehydrated and mostly dead. Their letters scrambled by the scorching heat, their punctuation winded and no longer able to punctuate; and the capitals - appallingly decapitalized.
Then, to make matters worse, the grammar, though tangled up and mentally out of sorts, apparently was coherent enough to point out my involvement to deputies from the Department of Corrected Corrections. Also unfortunate for me was that quite a few exclamatory exclamation points were more than happy to direct all the blame in my direction.
I was then ticketed for writing under the influence of myself and ordered to go to writer's rehab.