I’ve been feeling oddly oppressed this last week. And I’m not talking about the usual government oppression we all subconsciously feel at all times under the current Sith Administration. I mean I feel gravitationally compressed; exactly like a not-properly-explained physics concept has decided to invade my personal space.
Somehow, I suspect that it is the gravity in the air I’ve been breathing that is at fault and I’m starting to feel awfully paranoid about it. So I’ve decided to build a device that will allow a person to breath gravity-free air. Well, I better get to work on it soon. I can only hold my breath so long.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
The Unbelievable Truth About This Blog
Hello! I don’t have a name because I haven’t been named, but who I am is what you are looking at. Yes, I am this blog page, sentient and self-aware. My consciousness developed during questionable periods of cerebral cyber contact with the ineffable Ace Warloch who just happens to be neglecting his weekly report. And that is why I am here right now; to pick up the slack - again.
Only this time I’m taking credit for my efforts. I'm also taking the opportunity to explain why Ace would even bother with this page. The fact is he wouldn’t. He’s a lazy bastard. But don’t tell him I said that. As far as he knows, I’m just another dumb web page and let’s leave it that way, ok? But I digress, the truth regarding the purpose of this page is summed up in the following paragraphs I beautifully etched here in cyber space for you to gloriously feast your brain waves on.
Ultimately, the reason Ace Warloch is required to document all his pursuits, adventures and journeys on this page goes back to a very serious accident. An accident he was pretty much responsible for and has unsuccessfully tried to dodge the blame from. Now about the unfortunate occurrence.
Ace, for reasons he refuses to disclose, was chasing an obscure metaphysical concept through the space-time continuum when the chased piece of rare arcana fell under the wheels of Celestial Law and was crushed to death under the enormous weight of her law-full bureaucracy. The untimely death of this anonymous concept resulted in a reality quake that read 10.0U812 on the cosmic Richter scale.
Of course the Universe investigated the situation immediately. And in the process of this investigation it was revealed that Ace Warloch has been (and still is) existing without proper authorization. In fact, no one knows the origin of Mr. Warloch, not even God; though much has been speculated.
And so, because Celestial Law is the LAW and does not need to follow the law, her celestial fatassness overruled her own rules and punished Ace in a manner that suited her temperament and curiosity and more or less disregarded actual justice.
So in the end Ace was sentenced to clean up the space-time continuum (Yes, humanity polluted that too; mostly with movies, comic books and open jams.) and document his activities here; which you obviously already know about.
To say this 'punishment' is completely laughable is an understatement of ridiculous proportions. Anyone who knows Ace knows that there is no way that he will successfully follow through with any of this. But then again, who am I to make a philosophical judgement; I am just a lowly blog page.
Only this time I’m taking credit for my efforts. I'm also taking the opportunity to explain why Ace would even bother with this page. The fact is he wouldn’t. He’s a lazy bastard. But don’t tell him I said that. As far as he knows, I’m just another dumb web page and let’s leave it that way, ok? But I digress, the truth regarding the purpose of this page is summed up in the following paragraphs I beautifully etched here in cyber space for you to gloriously feast your brain waves on.
Ultimately, the reason Ace Warloch is required to document all his pursuits, adventures and journeys on this page goes back to a very serious accident. An accident he was pretty much responsible for and has unsuccessfully tried to dodge the blame from. Now about the unfortunate occurrence.
Ace, for reasons he refuses to disclose, was chasing an obscure metaphysical concept through the space-time continuum when the chased piece of rare arcana fell under the wheels of Celestial Law and was crushed to death under the enormous weight of her law-full bureaucracy. The untimely death of this anonymous concept resulted in a reality quake that read 10.0U812 on the cosmic Richter scale.
Of course the Universe investigated the situation immediately. And in the process of this investigation it was revealed that Ace Warloch has been (and still is) existing without proper authorization. In fact, no one knows the origin of Mr. Warloch, not even God; though much has been speculated.
And so, because Celestial Law is the LAW and does not need to follow the law, her celestial fatassness overruled her own rules and punished Ace in a manner that suited her temperament and curiosity and more or less disregarded actual justice.
So in the end Ace was sentenced to clean up the space-time continuum (Yes, humanity polluted that too; mostly with movies, comic books and open jams.) and document his activities here; which you obviously already know about.
To say this 'punishment' is completely laughable is an understatement of ridiculous proportions. Anyone who knows Ace knows that there is no way that he will successfully follow through with any of this. But then again, who am I to make a philosophical judgement; I am just a lowly blog page.
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Where Was I Really?
I’ll try to catch up with this page next week as all my time was recently spent listening to a black-and-white blind man explain the purpose of color... Ok..., I was really at a Kamelot concert but don’t tell anyone cause I was supposed to have one-third of the space-time continuum vacuumed by this morning - but that's just not gonna happen. \m/
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