There is no place like a place that isn’t a place. And this is the kind of place that is forbidden.
No one knows why. So I tried to go there.
However, I soon discovered that a place that is not there is not a place you can go to. And theoretically, even if you did find such a place, how would you leave? And if you did leave then you would no longer be in your place; where your supposed to be. It says so in the esteemed Book of Places, Chapter 1, Place 35.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Nothing
Once again I find myself in the unique self-appointed position of not having anything interesting to write about and that is why I am writing about Nothing this week. You see, there is a lot more to Nothing than a person might think; and I don’t think most people realize this.
To begin with, Nothing is a living breathing concept self-perpetuated by nothing. In other words, the concept of nothing is itself being itself by itself and we can only assume ‘for itself,’ making it possibly the most self-absorbed concept in all of philosophy.
Nothing has a power that not even God can touch. Because if God ever decided to take away Nothing, nothing will have gone and not a thing will have changed; in Warlochian theory anyway. Now stay with me here as we dwell in the blasphemous, of which we are only doing so we can come to grips with why it is not possible for for any other theory to be possible let alone agreed upon.
In my own esoteric pseudonymic circle it is thought that Nothing actually predates God and may have even created God; probably out of boredom. This is an extremely logical assumption which would most likely be very unwise to prove wrong as God could theoretically find a way out (I think it is probably safe to say that God is as just as trapped in his role as we are in ours and probably wants to go to a mythical Heaven just as much as we do.).
Now, the mind of this pseudonym lies outside the known boundaries of identity and mental capacity and therefore can elucidate processes that Nothing would rather have mankind fail to grasp. Yes, I figured it all out. And it all adds up to Nothing. Let me rephrase it for you: Thinking nothing of something makes something Nothing.
Now you just can’t tell people this stuff at face value as it almost certainly will have profound implications regarding a person’s existence. I however, being an occult potentiality, don’t have a natural state to exist in. So losing my existence to the wastelands of belief is not something I am remotely concerned about.
Douglas Adams had it right all those years ago when he wrote in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that the meaning of life is 42. You see, 42 is not reduced to zero, it is reduced to Nothing! Understanding this, you now know the secret numerical explanation for both Nothing and Everything. Reverse synergy at it’s finest! And to think no one took Mr. Adams seriously!!!!!
To begin with, Nothing is a living breathing concept self-perpetuated by nothing. In other words, the concept of nothing is itself being itself by itself and we can only assume ‘for itself,’ making it possibly the most self-absorbed concept in all of philosophy.
Nothing has a power that not even God can touch. Because if God ever decided to take away Nothing, nothing will have gone and not a thing will have changed; in Warlochian theory anyway. Now stay with me here as we dwell in the blasphemous, of which we are only doing so we can come to grips with why it is not possible for for any other theory to be possible let alone agreed upon.
In my own esoteric pseudonymic circle it is thought that Nothing actually predates God and may have even created God; probably out of boredom. This is an extremely logical assumption which would most likely be very unwise to prove wrong as God could theoretically find a way out (I think it is probably safe to say that God is as just as trapped in his role as we are in ours and probably wants to go to a mythical Heaven just as much as we do.).
Now, the mind of this pseudonym lies outside the known boundaries of identity and mental capacity and therefore can elucidate processes that Nothing would rather have mankind fail to grasp. Yes, I figured it all out. And it all adds up to Nothing. Let me rephrase it for you: Thinking nothing of something makes something Nothing.
Now you just can’t tell people this stuff at face value as it almost certainly will have profound implications regarding a person’s existence. I however, being an occult potentiality, don’t have a natural state to exist in. So losing my existence to the wastelands of belief is not something I am remotely concerned about.
Douglas Adams had it right all those years ago when he wrote in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that the meaning of life is 42. You see, 42 is not reduced to zero, it is reduced to Nothing! Understanding this, you now know the secret numerical explanation for both Nothing and Everything. Reverse synergy at it’s finest! And to think no one took Mr. Adams seriously!!!!!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Letter
Dear Four Horsemen,
May you never die until I blast you with the anti-anthropomorphic pseudo-matter cannon I've been working on for the last few months. Start sayin' your prayers.
Sincerely,
Ace Herostratus Waroloch, a.k.a. The One Man Anti-Welcome Wagon
May you never die until I blast you with the anti-anthropomorphic pseudo-matter cannon I've been working on for the last few months. Start sayin' your prayers.
Sincerely,
Ace Herostratus Waroloch, a.k.a. The One Man Anti-Welcome Wagon
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Knocked Out
A few seconds ago I ran into wall of abstract space and knocked myself out. I am now floating through cyberspace in a state of animated unconsciousness.
Presumably what I deserve for attempting to misappropriate the Mystic Blade of the Mysteriously Missing Metaphorical Philosopher while drunk on the wild theological speculations of the Mad Monkstress of Lost Theoretical Theories.
Presumably what I deserve for attempting to misappropriate the Mystic Blade of the Mysteriously Missing Metaphorical Philosopher while drunk on the wild theological speculations of the Mad Monkstress of Lost Theoretical Theories.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Just Say No
Just say “No” to ‘saying no.’ This is my philosophy; this is my creed; this is my declaration of intent. This week anyway. And never think you can’t think. It only shows off your ability to prove yourself wrong.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Latest Ace Warloch News
From the Loudspeaker Times affiliated with Associated Press (though AP denies it)
In the latest Ace Warloch news, Ace has helped put the terror back into tot by making a generous donation to the Dynamite for Babies Program. “This is a nuclear world and we need to get our children playing with highly explosive materials at the earliest age possible or they may not be ready for what the future has to offer,” says Ace.
In the latest Ace Warloch news, Ace has helped put the terror back into tot by making a generous donation to the Dynamite for Babies Program. “This is a nuclear world and we need to get our children playing with highly explosive materials at the earliest age possible or they may not be ready for what the future has to offer,” says Ace.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Pyroworld
Obviously I missed a few postings and unfortunately this stupid webpage didn’t come to life and bail me out this time. Anyway, I was busy trying to get cosmic approval to build a new themepark despite complications due to certain facist fire codes and anti-smoke sentiment.
My theme park idea is called, Pyroworld. It will be a lot like Disneyworld except everyone and everything will be either smoking or on fire. It will be educational as well, helping mainstream society understand the importance of smoke and things that go burn in the night.
Just imagine. A place where pyromania can be thought of as a responsible advancement for our schism laden society. A place where you can light roman candles as you ride a roller coaster through walls of flame. A place where you can sacrifice a younger sibling or two over a ceremonial fire. A place where spontaneous combustion will be the norm.
And there’s more! In tribute to Herostratus, the world’s first arsonist, you will be freely allowed (and encouraged) to light stuff up at random - just to watch it burn. Plus there will be innovative demonstrations proving it possible to smoke a cigarette underwater and much much more. Gee, burn stuff and get an education, it’s a no brainer. Pyroworld will rock!
The park will be a total pyromaniacs paradise. Or should I say, “would be,” cause the divine bureaucracy won’t let it happen. Devil damned smoking bans!
My theme park idea is called, Pyroworld. It will be a lot like Disneyworld except everyone and everything will be either smoking or on fire. It will be educational as well, helping mainstream society understand the importance of smoke and things that go burn in the night.
Just imagine. A place where pyromania can be thought of as a responsible advancement for our schism laden society. A place where you can light roman candles as you ride a roller coaster through walls of flame. A place where you can sacrifice a younger sibling or two over a ceremonial fire. A place where spontaneous combustion will be the norm.
And there’s more! In tribute to Herostratus, the world’s first arsonist, you will be freely allowed (and encouraged) to light stuff up at random - just to watch it burn. Plus there will be innovative demonstrations proving it possible to smoke a cigarette underwater and much much more. Gee, burn stuff and get an education, it’s a no brainer. Pyroworld will rock!
The park will be a total pyromaniacs paradise. Or should I say, “would be,” cause the divine bureaucracy won’t let it happen. Devil damned smoking bans!
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