Pyroworld

Obviously I missed a few postings and unfortunately this stupid webpage didn’t come to life and bail me out this time. Anyway, I was busy trying to get cosmic approval to build a new themepark despite complications due to certain facist fire codes and anti-smoke sentiment.

My theme park idea is called, Pyroworld. It will be a lot like Disneyworld except everyone and everything will be either smoking or on fire. It will be educational as well, helping mainstream society understand the importance of smoke and things that go burn in the night.

Just imagine. A place where pyromania can be thought of as a responsible advancement for our schism laden society. A place where you can light roman candles as you ride a roller coaster through walls of flame. A place where you can sacrifice a younger sibling or two over a ceremonial fire. A place where spontaneous combustion will be the norm.

And there’s more! In tribute to Herostratus, the world’s first arsonist, you will be freely allowed (and encouraged) to light stuff up at random - just to watch it burn. Plus there will be innovative demonstrations proving it possible to smoke a cigarette underwater and much much more. Gee, burn stuff and get an education, it’s a no brainer. Pyroworld will rock!

The park will be a total pyromaniacs paradise. Or should I say, “would be,” cause the divine bureaucracy won’t let it happen. Devil damned smoking bans!