Problematic Problems

Lately, the mental entanglements within my mind have seriously taken their toll on my bargain-priced emotional reactor. My self-awareness is down 15.8 percent from last month and I’ve been steadily losing arguments with myself for about three days now.

It could be that the primal forces of the universe have undergone extra-normal transmutations of an unexplicable nature and that is the cause of my distress. Or it may be possible that my extreme personal problems are a result of moving through the time stream in the opposite direction from everybody else.

Despite the overwhelming probability of either of the aforementioned theories of the origins of my problematic problems, my urinary tract continues to disagree and suspects that the “Genuine Bottled Water from Noah’s Flood” I drank a few days ago is the true cause of my current descent into emotional confusionism.

The bottle claimed it was “purified by reverse-prayermosis” and that it would “not expire in this lifetime.” The FDA have never heard either of these claims before. I believe I’ve been conned. Oh, the cruel price for naivety.

Until next week (if there is one). Peace.